To give you a name when we found out you were a boy,
gave us guidance, peace, love & joy.
The optimism I had that day that you would make it,
swiftly turned to acceptance as you left my body bit by bit.
First the waters broke, then you came along,
a being, delicate, gentle, yet a presence so strong.
You lay there at peace within white linen & gold ribbon, without harm,
our tears rolled, yet you brought us such warmth & calm.
We were given time & space to say goodbye,
we were then left with your hand & footprints gone by.
The sadness & overwhelm as I laid in that room,
met with a group of nurses ask if I was okay loomed.
I turned away, my tears rolling once more,
as my eyes closed you sent a sunbeam to adore.
You brought me peace in that moment of loneliness,
thank you dear son for that life-saving steadiness.
Year after year on your birthday, each one a brick wall,
a stuckness, deep grief when the mention of your name would call.
Till one day, I found the courage to set you free,
with words, a voice, a drum, a fire to let you be.
I released the holding of you tight in my heart & very being too,
beyond, to the sky, up, the universe is seeing you.
You wander into my thoughts where I often imagine you to be,
with creativity, who you'd be, what you'd like, and how you would chat to me.
Now in my soul, my spirit, free to roam everywhere,
I see you all over in nature, anywhere.
My gratitude for the wisdom you naturally brought to us,
every lesson, each moment, it is fortuitous.
To Solomon, on your 12th birthday, we love you.
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