I'm driving along listening to a powerful piece of music 'In Dreams' by Jai-Jagdeesh and pop, both my Nana and Auntie come forth in my thoughts. As I navigate my own journey of creativity as a career I think back to the hidden talents of my extended family and how now that they have passed through this world never got to use their creative skills as a career. I feel sad that their talents were not felt by more, from storytelling to papercraft. The reason sadness sets in is because when you do something you love, it brings you such joy at every step yet so many don't make it a career, and barely see it as a hobby. So, many will never get to experience creativity and it starts to become a lost art.
I was thinking about people that buy creative items such as books, cards, art pieces, music and that if you knew it was created with such joy the purchase would gift you a feeling as well as to your ears and eyes.
Writing is my craft, I smile knowingly every time I lose direction, feel lost, or don't know what to focus on - my relatives beam into my thoughts as though giving me some sort of spiritual guidance. I recently stepped out of full time paid work to finally immerse any 'work time' into writing yet along the way I have gone from extreme consistency, to doubt, intense courage to overwhelming fear. I know that equilibrium will come but I sometimes ask myself desperately. 'when?'
Having always been in a wellness career with a title people clearly knew what I did, there was little hesitation yet now I sit in a place with no title other than Mother, where people pop on my LinkedIn profile to see what I am up to but never directly ask me what I am up to. Truth is I can't put into words or a title for that matter what I am up to right now, and that is because as every creative soul knows, your talents extend into a realm of variety, and in fact a label would only hinder the flow. Ideas, and words pop into my headspace for all sorts of reasons and on all sorts of topics yet I also continue to nurture my wellness career but even then not in just one way. I have newly devoted time to my creative spirit and I am finding it difficult to let go of it yet despite needing to earn money. Any work I take on has to be in the realm of part-time as I made the leap, and most of all feel braver than I've ever felt despite the hesitations and self-doubt. I understand these negative feelings to be very normal, I also know they come and go, and I will rise again and produce creative work to be proud of. I am very lucky that there is a seamless link that unites my wellness career and my writing craft and that is that they both endeavour to offer help and support to others.
How are other creatives feeling out there? Do you fear that your own creativity will die with you and not get the chance to reach others? Imagine sharing the joy it took to create it with others who buy it.
To my Nana Joanna, your stories are held within me, your grand-daughter, I hold the joy in my soul like the very moments you shared them with me, your words sparkle and have been gifted in my heart. I promise to tell my stories with equal joy. If you never gifted them to me I don't know that I'd be typing right now with such courage, thank you.
To my Auntie Diana, your creative abilities has influenced our children deeply, and have left your family with such beauty. You crafted with your hands till the very end despite your hands curling, crippled with illness, and even when you broke your arm. The sheer determination you showed your craft did not go unnoticed, it's with me every time I write, and voice my words. I am so grateful I witnessed it, thank you.
Your energies are unlocked within me and I make this promise here and now to continue finding ways to bring joy to others.
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